Girls
by Chibijac
Summary: Remus and Sirius try to give people love advice on girls.


Girls  
  
Author's Note: This fic is about Remus and Sirius's and their advice about girlfriends. It starts at James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus's third year.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or it's characters. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*  
  
Remus stuck his head through the curtains of James Potter's four poster bed. Sirius followed his lead, along with Peter at his side. Sirius had an evil grin on his face and looked as though he had the aching desire to do something troublesome. "Don't do it yet Padfoot. Let's give him a few minutes." Said Remus quickly as Sirius pulled out his wand. He looked at Remus sadly.  
  
"But Wormtail is just itching to."  
  
"Don't." said Remus, pulling out his wand and pointing it sternly at him. Sirius glared across the bed at him and gave in a sigh of defeat.  
  
"You're no fun, Moony." He muttered and Remus smiled. He pointed his wand at James and brought a finger up to his lips.  
  
"Don't make a sound. I want to test out this little trick I've learned before you have your fun." He said and muttered something under his breath. Peter gasped and Sirius quickly threw his hands over Peter's mouth and looked down at James excitedly as he began to talk out loud in his sleep.  
  
"Wicked." Said both boys, Peter's still muffled since Sirius hadn't yet moved his hands. Then when he did move his hands, he looked at Remus. "Isn't Lily that Ravenclaw girl?" he asked and they all grinned. "Accio bucket of freezing water." Said Sirius and just as James began to wake, Sirius dumped a bucket of icy cold water onto him.  
  
"PADFOOT!" he yelled and Sirius quickly grabbed his bag, saying something about needing to finish a report for Transfiguration. Peter and Remus were still laughing when Sirius went running past Arthur Weasley and his girlfriend, Molly.  
  
"Dump a bucket of water on him again, Sirius?" Arthur called and Sirius grinned back at him, before rushing out the portrait hall.  
  
"Slow down there dear!" called the Fat Lady. Sirius rounded the corridor corner and leaned against the wall, panting deeply. He knew James was going to kill him now.  
  
"Hey there Sirius." Came a cheerful voice and he turned to see Lily Evans coming in his direction. He pushed himself up off the wall with a grin, but didn't get far before some one grabbed him by the robes.  
  
"PRONGS! Hey buddy. Just another early morning joke." He said innocently, and James let him go, slapping him in the back of the head. Sirius grinned and nodded in the direction of Lily. James instantly went red and muttered a hello.  
  
"Hi." She answered, and went on her way toward the library. The she stopped, turning back toward the two friends. "Don't forget, James. You promised to help me out with Transfiguration." She said and he nodded before she walked away.  
  
"A real beauty isn't she?" asked Remus, who had just showed up, wearing a very wide grin while Peter watched Lily walk off, his face full of curiosity.  
  
"You like that girl, eh Prongs?" he asked and James went very red before glaring at his friends. "I see! You like her A LOT." He grinned.  
  
"Well Prongsy boy, if you want the girl to notice you, you've got a lot to learn" said Sirius, putting an arm around James's shoulder.  
  
"And I suppose you'll be teaching me?" he asked and Sirius grinned even wider.  
  
"Me and Remus are of course. Wormtail, you get to pretend to be Lily." Said Sirius. Peter frowned at this.  
  
"I don't want to." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Peter sat with a look of great annoyance as Remus told James the proper way to talk to a girl with out being a complete idiot, leaving Sirius out of the exercise. Sirius was glaring at him and was just as upset as Peter. After a while, he was used as a substitute for Peter who wasn't doing his role right. Sirius grinned widely and took Peter's chair.  
  
"Now James, Sirius is Lily and she's sitting in the library doing her work and seems to be having difficulties. Sirius, act like you're having difficulties." Instructed Remus and Sirius obeyed and crossed his legs, trying to act feminine as he read the Transfiguration. Then he jumped up, tossing the book onto the floor.  
  
"I can't take this any more!" he said in a fake female voice. Peter snorted and covered his mouth quickly. "Won't some big strong stud with glasses and messy hair please help me!" He grinned innocently.  
  
"James, pretend half of that didn't happen." Said Remus, giving Sirius a sharp look as Peter sat on the couch laughing at their mistakes and how Sirius continued to mess things up.  
  
"Excuse me boys." Said Molly, coming up to the four friends as Remus made his move to strangle Sirius. "James, aren't you suppose to be on your way to the library right now to help out the *real* Lily?" she asked and James checked his watch.  
  
"NO!" he panicked and grabbed his book out of Sirius's hand, rushing out of the common room. "Thanks Molly!" they heard him call.  
  
"You know, we should follow to see what he's learned." Suggested Sirius, looking over at Peter and Remus. "Don't you think, Moony?" he asked.  
  
"That'd be considered spying." Said Remus, an evil smirk crossing his face. They grabbed a book each and ran on their way to the library. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
They hid behind a near by bookcase, peaking through the books and trying to listen. Peter, who was the smallest of the group, was having a harder time seeing what was going on. Sirius was standing on the bookshelf, looking at the back of James's head. "Moony, he is saying the things you told him to say!" Sirius whispered. They watched as Lily began to blush and she grinned playfully at James.  
  
"Disgusting." Muttered the three friends and noticed Lily look around before leaning forward and kissing James, and it wasn't a quick one either.  
  
"NO WAY!" announced both Peter and Sirius before they could stop themselves. Remus quickly jumped back and watched as his two friends fell forward with the bookshelves.  
  
"What are you guys doing here!" yelled James and they all grinned, Sirius lying on poor Peter's back.  
  
"Just making sure you did things the right way." Said Remus nervously. James smiled a bit at them.  
  
"Since when have I ever taken advice from you two about girls?" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*  
  
Sirius was walking past his sixteen-year-old godson, Harry's room, when he heard him and his best friend, Ron, talking. He pressed his ear against the door in curiosity, just as Remus arrived. "Padfoot, what are you doing?" he asked and Sirius quickly hushed him. Curious to know what was going on as well, Remus pressed his ear against the door.  
  
"I dunno Harry. she's really quiet from what I hear. Now Hermione." Ron's voice stopped and there was a silence. Sirius pulled out his wand and whispered something. The door opened slightly without making a sound. Harry was wearing a smirk and looking at his best friend.  
  
"How would you know how Hermione kisses?" he asked and Ron's face went red. He frowned at him and leaned forward.  
  
"How do you know how Hannah Abbot kisses?" he retorted and Harry grinned.  
  
"Mind you, she is Neville's girlfriend, so of course he told me about their first kiss, knowing I would tease him about it." Harry answered. "Besides, I'd say Ginny was a better." Harry stopped and noticed that Ron was now glaring at him, then an evil smirk crossed his face.  
  
"So, I suppose you were going to tell me about this when I found out I was going to be an uncle?" Ron asked and Remus threw his hand quickly over Sirius's mouth, noticing his jaw had just dropped and he had gasped really loud. The boys hadn't noticed.  
  
"Well, it's not like we're following you and Hermione's lead and making out in empty classrooms." Said Harry.  
  
"How do you know about that?" asked Ron, his face reddening.  
  
"I didn't, you just told me." Harry laughed and Ron slapped him with a pillow muttering under his breath. Sirius stood up and straightened his clothes.  
  
"Well Moony, looks like we have to have a certain talk with the boys." He said, a bit of uneasiness in his voice. Remus stood up and nodded the two of them entering the room. Ron and Harry looked up from the chess game that they had been playing as they talked. "Evening boys."  
  
"Evening." They answered, Harry grinning at the way Ron's face was still a bit red from his sudden confession. Remus cleared his throat and made a space to sit on the bed.  
  
"Well, Sirius has something to tell you about. girls." He said and the boys both stopped what they were doing, looking up at Sirius in curiosity.  
  
"Right, listen, I figure you should know. never listen to what a girl says." Sirius started. He felt uncomfortable under the stares of two teenage boys, one how was his godson, and one who has already had sex. it made him wonder if Harry might have been holding something back. "Well you see, they may say they. Listen, just don't have sex with a girl because she says she's ready cuz next thing you know she's using you for your looks or because she needed something to brag on with the rest on her perverted friends.." Sirius stopped when he noticed both Harry and Ron's faces go red.  
  
"Sirius.." Harry began but he was cut off.  
  
"Listen, girls are nothing but trouble and don't do anything stupid because she wants you to, got it." He said and gave out a sigh of relief. "Well that was great, I suppose of done my godfatherly duties." He said and left the room. Harry and Ron looked at Remus.  
  
"I suppose both of you have already had sex?" he asked and they both nodded. "Well I've learned a couple years back that no one should listen to any love advice that Sirius and me give you. especially if its about girls." he said and got up, leaving the room. Ron looked over at Harry.  
  
"If I would have known that was going to happen, I would have went to Hermione's for the summer." Ron whispered to Harry who grinned. Both boys were unaware of the fact tat at Hemrione's, both she and Ginny were about to get the same talk. 


End file.
